Hire Car

Its a bit tough to get around Dubai with no car, as theres no Public transport as such, only an unreliable overpriced (compared to Abu Dhabi) taxi service or nasty buses you wouldnt want to get on that go no where near my house or an other destination I would want to go to.

As a result I was forced to get a hire due to selling my Porsche last week. I wanted something cheap and cheerful so I chose the top-of-the-range Mitsubishi Lancer 1.3 with manual gears for Dhs 1320 per month, bargain. Its pretty basic but does however have power steering, electric windows and A/C which is all I really need for now. Its considerably faster to get to work in than my last car as I dont have to slow down for speed bumps any more.

All hail the P.O.S. Lancer

Spice Island

Steve and Dolores has a small leaving party at Spice Island on Thursday night, due to a crash on SZR trafic was held up for a while allowing us a clear run to Diera, 35 mins in total, better than the usual hour or so.

Big Andy showed us a magic trick involving ripping up a Dhs 10 note and magically turning it into a Dhs 20 that was in his pocket, the remnents are on the floor... magic!

Our waiter was rather keen, everytime a bottle was half empty he would bring us a new one, may explain why I felt so rough the next day.

Steve managed to stay awake all night and even made it to Double Decker until 1am, a personal best I think.

Left at 1 ish, took a good 24 hours before I felt average again.

Random Shoes

How rare, a pair of shoes in the middle of the desert near a manhole. Does the owner of the shoes live in the manhole? Is it Sadam's old hiding spot? Did a travelling shoe salesman tempt him to buy a new pair... a mystery.

Sold my car

A sad day today, sold my Porsche, a relativly painless procedure considering the love of administration in Dubai. 10 minutes and a few Dirhams and it was transfered.

Im going to get a hire for now, probably a Toyota Echo or something similar, bit a change from my last car but at least I wont have to slow down for speed bumps anymore.

Hot Day

According to my car its 128F (53C) outside today, after a few minutes of driving it settled to a pleasant 117F (47C) I need to go somewhere cold.

Power cut

Yet another power cut in Emirates Hills, that 4 or 5 this year. Fortunatly I was at work at the time but my dog must have been hot.

Arse of the week 8 and a half

This one goes to me, I was stopped in heavy traffic on a roundabout when a truck driver broke my drivers side mirror. Even though I was stopped at the time the Police still blamed me for the accident as the other driver was the same nationality as the Police man and could speak the language. I however had to speak to him in English and his grasp of the language was poor at best. The reason I got the blame was because I moved my car and made the truck driver move his truck so we wern't blocking traffic. This gave the driver of the truck the chance to lie about how it happened and thus pass the blame on to me, so I'm the arse for moving my car.

Arse of the week 8

This one was probably a bit nasty, the owner of this silver Lancer hit the barrier dividing the two roads. The car was pretty mashed at the front and side. Bit of a stupid thing to do as the road is very wide as you can see and clearly marked. Hope they weren't fatally injured.

Bad place to park

The owner of this black Maxima parked on the sand outside the office (even though there are 600 free parking spaces 50 foot away) Construction has just begun on laying a pipe of some form and making a proper road.
After digging a large trench the driver of the Bobcat decides to move the Maxima, being an automatic it probably was in Park so they couldnt push it and resorted to lifting the front end up with the Bobcat and pushing it into the road then into a parking space.Somewhere down the line the doors got dented, the front bumper broke off and a wheel was snapped. Dont know if it was like that already but it was in quite a state when they were done with it.
The moral of the story... Dont park on a construction site.

Arse of the week 7

This chap decided to take his 2 wheel drive Lancer for a spin in the desert, no surprise that it got stuck, what was a surprise is that he was German. Why would anyone take their car off-road and moreso, why do a 3 point turn on a sand track? Even my dog stopped to marvel at the stupidity.

Vorsprung durch technic as they say. (Progress through technology)

The campaign is conceived by the International Association for Human Values (IAHV) with the support of Gargash Enterprises, Dubai Police, the Roads & Transport Authority (RTA), Dubai Municipality, organisers of the Dubai Shopping Festival and ace rally champion Mohammad Bin Sulayem, President of the UAE Automobile and Touring Club.

"Cultural diversity is one of the main reasons behind the increasing fatalities on Dubai roads," said Brigadier Mohammad Saeed Al Merri, Deputy Director of Community Service Department of Dubai Police.

"There is a kind of carelessness that we want to take out by creating a cultural communication between motorists," he said at the launch of a nine-month long road safety campaign under the slogan, It's cool to be safe.

The campaign's logo shows a victory sign inside a road sign, an internationally recognised symbol for road safety. Source: Gulfnews 07/11/2006

What the sign actually shows is someone giving the fingers to other road users. Id like to thank IAHV for their thourough research into hand gestures, from now on I shall proudly show the fingers to everone on the road who I think deservs it.

Arse of the week 6

Another idiot on the road. This one managed to hit the back of a massive truck, you can just see it it the mirror. Not a very good photo, but I was driving at the time... naughty naughty. I dont know what the rope's for, perhaps it was holding the bumper on from a previous crash.

Snowboarding

Annah, Grant, Hannah and myself are currently learning to Snowboard at SkiDubai, its been going well until yesterday when 2 morons crashed into me, one of them hit my hand with his ski and now its swollen and painful, dont think its broken though. These 2 morons cant actually ski they manage to get themselves down the slope but have to fall over at the bottom each time to stop. Due to their nationality the staff at SkiDubai seem relucant to throw them off the slope. Lets hope they only injure themselves and no one else.

A few pints and a pizza in Apres straight after seemed to numb the pain. One UDI and a sore hand, this weeks not looking good for me.

Unidentified Drinking Injury

How did this happen ? I dont recall banging my head, so I can only assume it was a UDI after dinner at Annah's on Saturday. It took 3 days to notice that I had a 5cm cut on my head, but I have had a bad headache for those 3 days. Perhaps I was abducted by Aliens who took away part of my brain... I should fit in well around here now.

Arse of the week 5

Dubai Transport is renound for their driving skills, or lack of them. The Springs is a hot spot for idiotic drivers, the roads are difficult to navigate due to their straightness and girth.

Why do corners always prove a problem for people in the UAE?

Yorkshire Puds

Dinner at Annah and Grants is always pretty good, nice food and lots of beer, or wine in this case. This time it was roast beef and yorkshire puds, Annah was as happy as a kid in a candy shop when the puds came out of the oven.

It started off sensible with a few bottles of beer, then the wine... about 6 or 7 bottles. Fell out, went home left key in the door. Some nice person probably the 7days paper boy kindly took the key out of the door and put it under the mat. A nice gesture even though it took me an hour to find it.

Stupid Bird

Its back, pecking at the window and chirping all day. It was there all Friday and then this morning at 6am. Its been doing it for months and its getting irritating.

Springs Council Estate

First signs that The Springs is turning into an expat council estate... abandoned shopping trolleys miles from the supermarker, it'll be burnt out cars next.

Dune Buggy

This idiot decided to take his dune buggy for a bit of a spin around the streets. At least it wasnt at a busy junction near Mall of the Emirates... er, actually it was.

It moves

For many months this Ferrari was thought to be made of cardboard, it never moves, it just sits under the car port with a dust cover over it, then today as if by magic it moved a whole 5m. Next year it might actually get out of the compound.

Its getting hot

The mercury said it was 42C in the shade today, thats hot, but is it hot enough outside to cook an egg?

Dhs 10 thermometer, accurate as you like.

One frying pan, left out in the sun for 30mins

Add and egg, watch a movie and wait 2 hours in the comfort of the A/C

Results

Not much happened really, the egg went a bit solid and a few bits went white. Conculsive proof its not that hot... get back to work you slacker.