Weekend change

This is the last Thursday-Friday weekend in the UAE. As of September the weekend will change to be Friday-Saturday to bring government sector in line with the private sector. Should be interesting, now if only they would change my start time to something sensible rather that 7am.

Ninja cat-watch

Clyde has taken to ninja style stealth cat-watch by hiding under a curtain ready to pounce on the next intruder in the garden. He does however have a tendency to fall asleep under there.

Baby boy

Musba at work has just had a baby boy, well not him his wife. He brought in this moses basket full of chocolates for everyone... nice

Tonsillitis

How does a man of 31 get tonsillitis? I thought it was a thing only kids got. Even worse its the second time I've caught it this year. I blame the Belgians, its always their fault. Had to go to the doctors to get some antibiotics, are they small and easy to swallow through the 1cm gap that's left between the horse bo***cks that now occupy the back of my throat? No, they're about the size of a lilette, thanks GlaxoWelcome.

Indian storage

Where do you store your Indians when theyre finished for the day? In this big trunk of course.

Arse of the week 10

Courtesy of Emirates Today, this arse failed to negotiate an exit from Sh. Zayed Road eventually coming to rest on a wall.

A mans drink

Apres for dinner, JP orders a none alcoholic cocktail thinking it will be thirst quenching, instead he gets one of Del Boys Pina coladas... worrying.

Jungle Book

A sentence I never thought I'd say "Sure we'll help you take the cast of Jungle book to Diera City Centre to hand out flyer's." After a 20 minute argument with a security guard Ross finally got permission for me and JP to be allowed access to 'The top secret VIP car park' to pick up the cast. Took them over to City Centre and went looking at gadgets. The Bear costume was particularly good for scaring kids, glad I'm not an actor.

Carolines 30th Birthday

Dhs 299 for 3 hours of drinking Verve champagne and eating posh nosh. According to Mark "You get a different kind of drunk on champagne," right he was we all had a great time, well until we were kidnapped and taken to Jimmy Dix and Rock Bottom (Bar de-la Chav et Chavette) Did manage to spot an Indian version of Fat Bas*ard from Austin Powers pimping his Philipinas, minutes hours of entertainment.

Broken down car

This morning the car of some arse broke down at the lights, did it break down in one lane? No, it broke down at an angle in the middle of the 2 lanes causing a 45 minute traffic jam, would he push it out of the way? No, he just stood next to it having a smoke while on the phone. He might actually have been parked there knowing the people who reside in this country. When I drove past I gave him a few stern words about moving the car and his sexual tendencies toward family members, my Mum would have been proud of my proficiency with the English language.

Cat in a window box

My dog has been on cat-watch for weeks since the new neighbours arrived with their cat 'Cooking Fat'. It likes to taunt him by walking along the wall at the back of the garden or occasionally entering the garden and getting chased around the walls like something out of the Matrix. Its getting a bit bold now by sitting in the flower bed on the window sill, the windows are mirrored so it cant see in but my dog can see out driving him nuts.

The Leaning Lamppost of Springs

One of my neighbours reversed into this lamppost, its not like it appeared over night, they've been living there for 2 years and must have seen it each day, especially in the night when it gives off its magical fire. Either that or the bolts rotted due to my dog peeing on it every day for the last 2 years, but ill keep quiet about that. Its not the first one to be knocked down, each month one or more ends up on the ground... oddly enough all my dogs walking route.

Car park arse

Ibn Battuta Mall, empty car park, several thousand spaces, where does the arse in the white care park? Right next to my car, safety in numbers I guess... arse.

For Sale

A new type of property seems to have appeared in Dubai, some form of underground dwelling, perhaps the worlds biggest rat hole, Dubai Rat Hole City™™? Its similar, but not the same as the one with the shoes mention before. Anyway, this particular rat hole is currently for sale judging by the sign.

Car plunges into Creek

A Lebanese family of three had a miraculous escape after their car plunged into the Sharjah Creek on Sunday night.

“The accident happened after 8.30pm on Sunday. The family came out after shopping in the gold souq and the driver must have pressed the accelerator instead of the brake pedal. The car was about six metres from the creek,” said Mohammed Rafi, a shop employee in the area.

In a similar accident, the president of the Indian Association in Sharjah, MK Madhavan, and another Indian died when their car plunged into Sharjah Creek earlier this year. The accident was reportedly caused by the driver pressing the wrong pedal. Gulf News

How dumb must these people be ? Thats why the monkeys over here should drive manual cars rather than stop-go automatics.

Labourers grave yard

The infamous labourers grave yard patch of desert near my house seems to be getting more residents, the number of discarded safety helmets seems to be growing, but where do they come from? There's no constrution near by.

Happy Birthday Andy

31 hey... I remember when it was my 31st birthday all those weeks ago. Now youre officially old. Nice party, couple of quiet beers your wife said. 3am I got home and had a hangover for 2 days. Same again next week?

Thanks Gulf News

According to the local paper "a few people are beating the system using a simple trick. When they are thirsty or need a parking ticket they slip a peso coin into a vending machine. The machine obliges because the size of a peso coin is the same as a one dirham coin. That works out as 13 sodas for the equivalent of one dirham."

Thanks for telling the whole population of the UAE, you'll find a lot more foreign coins in the machines now.

Arse of the week 9

Not such a good photo as the Police turned up just as I was taking the photo, anyway the arse in the truck didnt quite make the turn, mounted the curb and hit the traffic lights. The man clinging on for dear life behind the cabin must have got a shock.