Office Boy

Today is our office boy's last day at work. He's going back to India tomorrow for the first time in 2 years as his wife is about to give birth to their first child. He hasn't seen her for 2 years so must be very excited to go back home. I wonder if they'll call the baby Jesus?

Why?

This P.O.S. was parked outside the office posing the question "Why would you put that on your toy 4x4?" Aren't the 'flames' supposed to go around the wheel arch anyway, isnt that why the start of the graphic has a curve? Looks crap either way.

Weetabix Tower

Emirates Today: Burj Budaneq is apparently a landmark in Sharjah and is undergoing maintenance work after being ignored for a long time. The old structure was turned into a rubbish dump area but finally the concerned authorities decided to renovate it.

The structure will be foil wrapped then encased in yellow cardboard and turned into luxury accommodation for 200 families, prices will start from Dhs 2.1m for a studio brick. The project will be sponsored by the Weetabix corporation. Expected completion date is 3rd December 2010.

Allergy Test

Had an allergy test yesterday, apparently I'm allergic / intolerant to everything except Chicken, Rice, Hay, Broccoli, Bitter, E210 and E219.

Ill be off back to my bed of hay with a few pints of Bitter and some chicken and rice then.

Nads

Hands free (?) hair removal cream for women and men. Oh joy, go Nads, go!

For those who dont know what Nads are, look here

Where are my wheels?

7days: It might look like something out of a run-down housing estate in Europe, but this was actually the scene greeting a Jumeirah resident yesterday morning. Chris walked out of his house in Al Safa II to find all four wheels of his 2006 Nissan Altima had been stolen. The wheels were worth dhs3,000 each, he said. “The policemen were gob smacked and said they haven’t seen something like this in Dubai,” he said. “I’d expect this in Manchester, Liverpool or Birmingham but never in Dubai.”

Resturent

A sign in Jordan, but was it for a restaurant or a hotel?

Jordan

Had a nice few days in Jordan. The capital Amman is like a clean version of Karama in Dubai but the people are friendly.

Petra was nice, the clean mountain air was a change from the construction dust of Dubai. Its apparently a long walk to the monument at the top of the mountain unless you take a horse and carriage then a donkey called Seymour, a camel called Jack and a horse called Zorro, unfortunately none of them had A/C and I was allergic to Zorro.

Welcome to Jordan

One of the first things I saw after landing in Jordan was a sign for Armoured Cars, welcoming I thought.

Letter to the Editor of 7days

7days.ae: I rescued a pigeon - now I’m stuck with it.

Hello, Just at the start of Ramadan, I found an injured baby pigeon. Since we are supposed to be more charitable during the holy month, I decided to foster it. It’s thriving and is starting to fly, but I can’t take care of it anymore. I’ve been looking for a bird sanctuary, but I can’t seem to find anywhere that would take a tamed pigeon. Could you please help a 14-year-old girl with a good cause in mind (and a pigeon)?

Dominique
Dubai

Might I suggest serving it in a red wine sauce with new potatoes and baby carrots... flying rats.

JP's room

I think I can see something moving.

Balancing Act

Emirates Today: A heavy construction mobile crane lost its balance while it was being loaded on to a transporter at a construction site next to the fourth interchange on SZR yesterday.

Inevitably it caused a massive traffic jam while people stopped to look and take photos.

Window surfing spider

This little fella managed to hang on to my windscreen all the way up to 140kph, he couldn't do 141kph though.

I shall call him 'mini-me'

Looks like Andy's clone shrunk in the wash. Good job JP has a goatee or you'd never tell them apart.

Safety first

Riding a motor bike in the UAE, (albeit a fruits Harley) is not the most advisable thing to do with the way people drive here, but at least wear a helmet to protect your brain... never mind, but put one on your kid. Arse of the week contender when you crash.

Pole dancer

Return of random shoes, a different pair this time but still in the middle of the desert and this time next to a pole. Random shoe man must have a new job as a pole dancer. The pole is set in quite a lot of concrete so he must be a hefty chap.

Arse of the week 12

Emirates Today: A truck driver and a car collide with each other in front of Le Meridien Hotel, in Abu Dhabi. The Indian driver of the Nissan car hit the truck after he jumped a red light.

He'll get a Dhs 500 fine, the insurance company will pay for the damage and he'll be back on the road the next day to cause more mayhem... unless he's in hospital or pushing up daisies.

Pretty background

Got bored with the design of the old blog so spent a good 10 mins doing this one. If you like it add a nice comment if you wish, if you dont, dont.

Dubai Airport

Case over weight? Thats because your using the shoes - trousers - t-shirt packing method, clearly you should use the t-shirt - trouser - shoes method to reduce the weight.

007

I spotted James Bond on the way home from work, he'd dumped the traditional Aston Martin for a less conspicuous Honda Accord. Having '007' on the windscreen was a bit of a giveaway to S.P.E.C.T.O.R though.

Pizza Hurrah

JP enjoying a mushroom pizza from 'Pizza Hurrah'... possibly the worst pizza's in town, they were as bland as wall-paper paste on rivita, wont be going back there.

Chito Cheese

If Chito* was a cheese he would be this one, its small and smells of cabbage just like him. Why JP bought this I dont know, my fridge now smells like a bin.



*Chito - the midget who used to work in Finnigans / PJ's in Abu Dhabi... Small hands smells like cabbage as all good midget do.

Safe driver

The driver of this Jeep deserves his award for being a "Siemens safe driver" he proudly displays it in the middle of the back window so as not to cause a blind spot.

[Update] Had a quick check for his plate on the Police website for traffic fines and violations, this safe driver had 6 for speeding and 1 for reckless driving / red light violation... and he considers himself a safe driver.

Duck

Another little bit of England comes to Dubai, this is the first Mallard duck I've seen in the pond near my house, spiffing.

Clarence the taxi driver

The driver of my Taxi yesterday couldn't see more than about 10m in front of him, he would randomly hit the brakes for no reason and by the time he saw a speed bump it was too late to brake.

When we arrived at the Madinat he knocked over the barriers as he didn't see them then got out of the car looked at the damage and said "Ok, nothing, no problems" ... er except for the big dent and the 50cm black mark down the side of the car. Buy some glasses you arse.

Onlookers

If you park your 4x4 at the entrance to a petrol station someone will run into the back of you and inevitably a small band of onlookers will appear from nowhere discussing the finer points of how it happened.