Lancerghini

Conclusive proof that a 1.3 Lancer will actually do more than 180kph... fear the Lancerghini.

Grammar god

The owners of Focus Home Care Maids have a way with words, the catchy tag line 'We clean with professional way' will ensure they do well in the business, perhaps branching out into advertising. The use of the brush script font was particularly appalling too.

Adverts

Adverts in the UAE are not renound for their creativity, this one in partiular posted on the first day of Ramadan seems a bit sick. Well done Heinz marketing team.

Sign plane

Don't want a permanent sign board? Then why not advertise your hotel on the side of a airplane. The advert is for the 'Palma Beach Hotel', but how did the plane get get there?

Drive-thru

The shop at the petrol station on Emirates Road didn't have a drive-thru until someone added one, didnt see the crash but heres the result.

Arse of the week 11

All of a sudden this corner came out of nowhere, then went back to its hiding place.

Winkle pickers

These monstrosities were spotted by the keen eye of Gordon. Beware the freaks who buy theses, witches I tell you with pointy noses and curled up toes.

Genie in the clear over fires

Police have cleared genies of causing a series of fires at a house in Ras Al Khaimer after forensic investigation showed the fires were started intentionally by humans “using matches or lighters.”

7DAYS reported earlier this month that a family had moved out of their home in the Al Thayet Area after four fires started in different rooms in the space of three days. The family claimed evil spirits, or genies, must have started the fires to scare them away.

At the time civil defence officials admitted the fires “were unusual.” The homeowner’s son, Faisal, said police had been unable to find any finger prints, which meant “genies remain the main suspect.”

But after consulting with a forensic expert from Dubai Police, genies have been categorically ruled out. (7DAYS 22/10/06)

Well there you have it, I thought they were supposed to give three wishes.

Ramadan

Ramadan is upon us again, should be Saturday 23rd but might be Sunday, best stock up the fridge.

Off roading

Another old image I found but forgot to post. Its a Hummer suck in the sand... thought they were supposed to be good off road? I suppose the terrain is rather rugged.

Typos

Found a few old photos on my computer, this ones from Choitrams on Al Wasl road... unusual beverage.

Giant runner beans

Giant runner beans hiding in the trees at Dubai Media City.

Go Sports

Go Sports in Ibn Battuta Mall is a tough place to buy stuff in general, but now they tease by showing you items you cant buy. Good job it was only Chav attire.

Movie poster

The poster made me laugh though it was flipping the bird as those Yank type people say. I may have image dyslexia of the eyes.

Satwa shop

Studio Toufiq in Satwa processes mints but only 15 at a time, and yes that is my finger in the shot which explains the odd colours - new phone you see.

Broken window

Someone either eager to get onto the roof in the office or get into the fire escape decided to smash the window, nothing really special only that there is a door some 10 whole metres away, but it is cunningly hidden round the corner.

Shooting

Took my sister and JP shooting in Ras Al Khaimer, good fun but quite a long drive, fortunately JP did that part. Gemma successfully shot the clay on the ground and a few in the air. JP hit a few as well, he probably should have hit more he was in the Army for 2 years... but as what you may ask? I hit a few clays too.

The guys in the last photo fired 4 times as many shots as us but didn't manage to hit anything, scared a few though. If one of them comes running at you with a gun guess the best place to be is right in front of him.

Annahs Birthday

Much merriment to be had on Annahs Birthday, brunch at Spectrum on One in the Fairmont with unlimited Moët & Chandon. A bit tipsy by 3pm, very strange walking through the foyer past all the sober people in the middle of the day.

Sandstorm

Bit of a sandstorm yesterday, it covered most of the UAE. While driving back from the office saw one of my pet hates - people driving with their hazard warning lights flashing. What does this achieve, I know not, I do however know these people are a hazard on the road and should give back the driving license the received in a box of Corn Flakes.

Saw several mongs driving in yesterdays sandstorm with their hazards on but not their lights, like the arse in the photo. These are the sort of people who put their hazards on when approaching a traffic jam, when it rains, when there's fog and occasionally because its dark, whoever teaches these people to drive should be shot.

Whats that in the road, oh it a house

Gulf News: A UAE national woman who was said to be speeding lost control of her car and crashed into the wall of a house on Monday morning in Al Safa.

Her last words before hitting the house were apparently "Whats that in the road, oh it a house." Dubai needs its own version of the Darwin Awards.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton falls victim to 'guerrilla' artist Banksy's CD prank (story here) I think my version for b3ta.com is better... the copy says 'The best of Paris' if you happen to be blind.

Hungry?

How about a roast lamb? Not a lamb chop or anything that dull, a full lamb... roasted or probably deep fried, head, wool and all... tasty.

Beached Whales

Interesting sculptures on the road from RAK to Dubai... beached whales, classy as you like.

For Sale

Just had a guy call me and ask about buying my Porsche, told him I sold it 2 months ago, he said "Its in the newspaper," so asked him to check the date. He said "July... Oh..." and put the phone down. Arse

Racing lights

I've heard of racing stripes but never racing lights. JP spotted this gem in Al Quoz.

Dubai Municipality strikes again

If putting a lamppost in the middle of a car park exit is the norm, (see June Archive) then putting a 'turn ahead' sign in a parking space is hardly worth mentioning.

Copper hat

Crazy woman, probably a yank walking around the streets of Satwa wearing a copper hat, not a hat off a Copper but a hat made of copper, looked a bit like a plant pot. You have to stop the CIA listening in to your brainwaves dont you know.

Bling my Landrover

What more can I say, Xibit and MTV must have paid a visit to Mr. Patel in Satwa and Pimped his ride. Soft-tops are all the rage in the 4x4 community.

Safety First

The guy in the photo is probably the Safety Inspector on a building site going by his total disregard for safety. He removed a dirty rag from a hole in the top of a 50 gallon drum and then proceeded to fill it with petrol, in his defence it may have been diesel which isn't so volatile, but still... loon.

R2-D2-R0X

According the the graffiti on the back of the toilet door in the office R2-D2 (that robot from Star Wars) rocks, all in L337 HaX0R speak though.